Monday, October 25, 2010

5 years ago I wrote my 1st liquor review.

Can somebody contact Condoleezza Rice? Alert the press, and call the President. I've found a Weapon of Mass Destruction and it’s called Lichido liqueur.

I am a drinker and proud of it. I’ve tasted everything from Johnnie Walker Blue to my Uncle Plug’s moonshine to Zima. (Yes, kids it's true I have an Uncle named Plug, it's a country thing... but I digress.)

Out of a long list of liver killing liquors there are two spirits that I will never drink again. The first is Goldschläger, a clear cinnamon liqueur with tiny flakes of real gold, (ICK!) and the second it...Lichido.

Lichido is a sick mix of aged cognac, premium vodka, lychees, guavas and white peach juice. It contains 18% alcohol which doesn’t help this stuff taste any better. Lichido has a slick and sexy pink shimmer that will fool you into thinking it's delicious but the combination of Lychee & Guava make it undrinkable.

If you’re not familiar with Asian fruits don’t worry I’ve got you covered.
  • Lychee (or Litchi) is a member of the soapberry family and is native to South China. It has the look and feel of a strawberry on steroids.
I’m sure we all know what a guava is but just in case.
  • Guava is a small edible fruit that can be found in Southeast Asia, Africa and Northern South America. If you bred a peach with a pear you'd get a Guava

The other flavors in this liqueur are tasty by themselves. Aged cognac has a wonderful aroma and a taste to die for. Vodka is great no matter how you try it and I love peaches. Seriously, I could eat a peach for hours. But when you toss in Lychee and Guava you arrive at Stinkville quicker than a NBC can shut down a Tom Arnold sit-com.

From what I’ve been told this ‘liqueur’ is suppose to give Hpnotiq (When did good spelling become a marketing taboo?) a run for its money. I tried both of them over a weekend and Hpnotiq won hands down. I mixed, poured, shook, stirred and tasted Hpnotiq and Lichido drinks until my arms ached and my liver gurgled.

Basically, Lichido has an over powering taste that makes it difficult to work with. When I made their version of a Red Lotus (Lichido, vodka and cranberry) I found myself reaching for the cranberry just to even out the horrid aftertaste. I wouldn’t recommend it straight either. I poured some for a few friends at a dinner party and they thought I was giving them Kool Aide from Jamestown.

I don’t enjoy writing bad reviews but in this case I have to. The only positive thing I can say is Lichido comes in a sexy bottle “I dream of Jeanie” and will great in any liquor cabinet. Lichido doesn’t taste great, it smells horrid and it doesn’t play well with others (liquors or mixers). I can't recommend it but I will say got me to try and even appreciate something I thought I would never drink, Hpnotiq.

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